Misc. Ramblings

I don't usually post on the weekends and the first of April happens to arrive tomorrow (sometimes referred to as Loof Lirpa Day - ed.). So, I've decided to post some things that would otherwise have been posted then.

MS Ships Vista, Says You Can Buy It Now!

In what is seen as a stunning turn around, Microsoft announced today the immediate availability of its next generation operating system: Windows Vista. When asked for comment, MS's co-president of Platforms and Services Division Jim Allchin, stated it had all been a big misunderstanding. It seems they had accidently saved an older release candidate as their proposed gold code and deleted the actual gold code. Once they realized they had already fixed the bugs they were working on, it became a simple task of finding the original code and releasing it.

Apple Changes Direction, Says Goodbye to Intel and Hello to AMD

During an unannounced appearance and speech at the Wil Wheaton/Doc Searls/Linus Torvald book signing today, Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs hinted that all was not well with the new Intel powered Macs. It seem his Highness was not getting sufficient credit from Intel for his daring and superlative break from the PowerPC platform. Thus, his Greatness decided to switch to the long rumored AMD X3 10,000+ Tri-Core processors and would complete the shift by Q2 of next year.

Lenovo Chops Suey

In a follow up to an earlier bulletin about the US investigation of Lenovo's so called "spyware" laptops from China, we have obtained the following leaked image from deep within Lenovo's secret chip plant in Ooohlongdong province in the southern tip of China. The extremely high magnification image appears to be of a section of the CPU that deals with reproductive functions but analysts are unsure as to its specific use.

When pressed for a comment, Lenovo spokesperson Outout U Deminz said only it was "pure stupidity." It is unclear where this newly created substance (i.e, pure stupidity) is on the atomic scale of elements but is said to have been first developed by Transmeta for their TransMuted(tm) line of processors.

In an unrelated announcement, spokesperson Deminz stated that Lenovo's VP of Remote Systems Control Division, Ling Suey, was terminated today. No reason was given and messages left for Suey were not returned.

Have a Great Weekend, Everyone - Aloha!