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April 01, 2004

Here They Come

Google E-mail Service Launches April 1st. This article

says Google is launching an e-mail service called "Gmail."

Long Arm of the Claw.

UK motorists "squawked with rage last night as police revealed plans to fit speed cameras on HAWKS." That's right, "specially-trained birds in the new flying squad will prey on speeding drivers spotted by their cop handlers." See the story here.

Woman Grows Extra Breasts.

"A woman in central China who paid for breast enlargement surgery ended up with an unwanted bonus - two extra breasts." See the story here.

Taco Bell to Buy Liberty Bell.

In an effort to help the national debt, Taco Bell is pleased to announce that we have agreed to purchase the Liberty Bell, one of our country's most historic treasures. It will now be called the "Taco Liberty Bell" and will still be accessible to the American public for viewing. While some may find this controversial, we hope our move will prompt other corporations to take similar action to do their part to reduce the country's debt.

Rogue Bras Cause Electrical Nightmare.

Japanese engineers are reporting sporadic bouts of electrical interference which may be caused by a simple mistake. Apparently the support wire in certain women's underwire bras have been made out of a kind of copper originally designed for use in fire alarms. When this copper comes into contact with nylon and body heat, it produces static electricity which, in turn, is interfering with local television and radio broadcasts. Government officials will be releasing a announcement that all women must immediately remove their bras and to stop wearing them until further notice.

Happy looF lirpA Day - Aloha!

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