Misc. Ramblings

A couple of good links from Ian Lind's site. The first is breaking news from the Onion about porpoises evolving opposable thumbs (in the same vein as the FOO BAR RFC).

HONOLULU-In an announcement with grave implications for the primacy of the species of man, marine biologists at the Hawaii Oceanographic Institute reported Monday that dolphins, or family Delphinidae, have evolved opposable thumbs on their pectoral fins.

"I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, 'Holy f*ck,'" said Oceanographic Institute director Dr. James Aoki, noting that the dolphin has a cranial capacity 40 percent greater than that of humans. "That's it for us monkeys."

Thus far, all the opposable digits encountered appear to be fully functional, making it possible for dolphins-believed to be capable of faster and more complex cogitation than man-to manipulate objects, fashion tools, and construct rudimentary pulley and lever systems.

"They really seem to be making up for lost time with this thumb thing," said Dr. Jim Kuczaj, a University of California-San Diego biologist who has studied the seasonal behavior of dolphins for more than 30 years. "Last Friday, a crude seaweed-and-shell abacus washed up on the beach near Hilo, Hawaii. The next day, a far more sophisticated abacus, fashioned from some unknown material and capable of calculating equations involving numbers of up to 16 digits, washed up on the same beach. The day after that, the beach was littered with thousands of what turned out to be coral-silicate and kelp-based biomicrocircuitry."

The second is to the Spin of the Day site. Spin does its best to tell the story behind the story. For instance, a beef industry association hiring a PR firm to spin the news to say it was only one cow, the inspection system worked, and that we have a "firewall" against mad cow disease or the US Environmental Protection Agency insisting that toxic sludge is good for you.

Aloha!