Friday Fun

Well, I had a fun Friday. Not. I was working on an "as soon as possible" assignment at work. This is in the category of vague things to do laying somewhere between do it now and do it before hell goes sub zero as long as it's done before anyone remembers something was assigned. So I was doing the research when a "rush" was dropped on my desk. Sigh. It's always fun trying to decipher the chicken bones to figure out which has a higher priority (since I don't do parallel processing): as soon as possible or rush?

I figure rush trumps ASAP, so I drop what I was working on and switch to the new assignment. This entails getting some information from several people and making some educated projections based on incomplete information [when do you ever have the luxury of "complete" information? - ed.]. As usual, one of the three people I need to get a hold of is on vacation. Another is in a meeting but will be back in "15 minutes" (he never did call me back). And the last person was leaving for the day in 30 minutes.

A very wise person once said the quality of work done by any organization is determined by management. That is, if you want quality work, you don't dump complex assignments on people and tell them they have four hours (counting the lunch hour) to do them. With that kind of deadline, you get what you get and you should be happy to get anything, much less something that has a high level of quality.

I am reminded of the classic Dilbert cartoon about the subject:

Pointy headed boss to Dilbert: "Do you have those budget numbers from last month?

Dilbert: "They're totally inaccurate."

Boss: "I know, but those are the only numbers was have."

Dilbert: "Actually, we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from."

Boss: "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them."

Dilbert: "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."

EnronGate Ethics

InfoWorld's Carlton Vogt has a good column on some of what went wrong in the Enron affair (see it here). I don't think it tells the whole story, nor does it give a prescription to solve the problem. Nonetheless, it's worth the few minutes it takes to read it.

My take on the whole mess is that EnronGate points out some of the corrosive and anti-democratic effects that uncontrolled and amoral, big business has, and why big government was created to act as counter-balancing force against it. It also points out what happens when big government doesn't do it's job. When, in fact, government, in this case a Republican controlled government, gets in bed with big business.

To me, the ultimate failure was with the watchdogs, not Enron. Getting rid of Enron's leaders will not keep this from happening again. No, I am not saying the leaders there should not be held responsible for their actions. Rather, we need to understand that they were doing what comes naturally under the system we operate in and that the system of checks and balances (read that laws and rules, sometimes incorrectly referred to as "red tape"), was subverted by regulators/auditors at the least looking the other way, and at worst, actively helping the very people they were supposed to be regulating. In the end, where were the watchdogs alerting us to what was going on?

I excerpt a couple of Vogt's paragraphs below:

1. Corporate ethics. As I've explained in this space before, corporations, although considered by the law to be the same as natural persons, have no moral motivation. Their only motivation is to make money for the investors. Those who must provide the moral agency for publicly held corporations -- directors, stockholders, and employees -- will ultimately serve the profit motive. To count on them to put ethics ahead of profits over the long haul is a foolish hope. The corporation won't tolerate continuing losses, and if it does, the market will punish it.

2. Corporate culture. Who in the corporation can carry the flag for ethical behavior over profit? In Enron, apparently, the answer is no one. In fact, most corporate cultures discourage it. To ask the tough questions, rather than join in the rah-rah attitude of meetings-turned-pep-rallies, brands someone as "not a team player" or "not a can-do" person. Enron regularly purged a certain percentage of employees as a matter of policy. We have to assume that asking the wrong questions was not a survival tactic. In this, Enron wouldn't be far different from most other organizations.

Aloha!

In the Dark

It seems the reason the guy I called last week Friday didn't return my call was because he thought what he had submitted earlier, to someone else, in another office, on another subject, had somehow made its way to me. Oh, then all is well then. Not. I dunno, I must be really missing something here. Maybe because it seems I'm always kept in the dark and no one gives me the "big picture" I don't understand why things are they way they are. Or maybe they are just royally, and truly farked up. Take your pick.

Putz or Futz?

On a related note, the Yiddish word putz is a noun. I guess English, being such an adaptive language, can transform it to other parts of speech. For example, to putz, as in "All I did was to putz around the house today" (see also futz: verb, "U.S. slang. [Origin uncertain; perh. alteration of Yiddish *arumfartzen*...] To loaf, waste time, mess around." OED) Or, with an exclamation mark, "Putz!" Or used to describe someone, "He's such a putz." Oh, what does putz mean? Penis. One letter difference between putz and futz. Big difference in meaning. <G>

Comma or Not?

For what it's worth, my copy of the Concise Oxford Dictionary (9th ed.) says the following in its style guide:

5.6.1 Commas are used to separate items in a list or sequence. Usage varies as to the inclusion of a comma before and in the last item; the practice in this dictionary is to include it:

The following will report at 9:30 sharp: Jones, Smith, Thompson, and Williams.

5.6.2 A final comma before and, when used regularly and consistently, has the advantage of clarifying the group at a composite name occurring at the end of the list:

We shall go to Smiths, Boots, Woolworths, and Marks and Spencer.

The example in 5.6.2 makes the case for using the comma before the and because it clarifies the grouping. This is why, in our state anyway, when writing legislation, you shall use the comma. Court cases have been won and lost as to where commas where inserted. Hence, we have standardized on using it since it provides clarity of intent.

I've re-written the 5.6.1 sentence below without the comma. Having read the sentence, and knowing nothing else about the names, it is unclear as to what the grouping is:

We shall go to Smiths, Boots, Woolworths and Marks and Spencer.

Is the grouping still Marks and Spencer or is Woolworths now added in? You might assume not. But you couldn't be sure because you don't know what convention the writer is using. However, by inserting the comma, you are making it incontrovertibly clear as to what you mean. If that doesn't matter to you, feel free not to use it. But understand what confusion you are creating by doing so.

Mail Call

From: Jan Swijsen
To: Mongo
Cc: Bilbrey
Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2002 1:58 AM
Subject: Linux for Windows

On Thursday,31 you mentioned ways to run Windows apps on Linux, and Linux apps on Windows.

Now I am looking anxiously on Brian's site for a report where he is executing some Windows app in Wine running on Cygwin which runs in a Windows session started in a VMWare shell on Linux. And he would probably do remotely from work.

(no wonder they have earthquakes in California :-] )

Regards,
Svenson.

-<>-

From: Brian Bilbrey
To: Jan Swijsen
Cc: Mongo
Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2002 6:20 AM
Subject: Re: Linux for Windows

Woo hoo. Thanks for the idea!!!! Next week...

.b

From: Dan Seto
To: Brian Bilbrey; Jan Swijsen
Subject: Re: Linux for Windows
Date: Tue, 5 Feb 2002 06:36:35 -1000

Some people have all the fun...

Aloha - Dan

Aloha!

Short Shrift Mode

SWMBO and I have to meet with our contractor this afternoon to go over some changes we want to make to the renovations taking place in our back house. Due to the cost of doing the front house, we don't have as much money as we'd had hoped for to use in the back house so we need to cut back on some of things we wanted to do. Sigh. Darned termites.

So I'm leaving early today and I need to finish up some work before I do. So I gotta' go.

Mail Call

From: Don Armstrong
To: Dan Seto
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2002 2:16 AM
Subject: Explication s'il vous plait

Alright, I'll bite: why Mongo?

Regards,
Don Armstrong

From: Dan Seto
To: Don Armstrong
Subject: Re: Explication s'il vous plait
Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2002 06:34:12 -1000

Sheesh, can't get anything past you can I? Okay, the comedy "Blazing Saddles" was on TV again locally. And as you may remember, the Alex Karas (sp?) character was called Mongo. I guess I was just in a Mongo kind of mood (i.e., kept in the dark, and too dumb to know it ;>).

Aloha - Dan

Three Kinds of People

Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.

The retired couple said it was no problem at all.

The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that it was no problem.

The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.

"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

Aloha!

Lessons Learned

As you may remember, the class I'm taking, Strategies of Change, is being taught not by a professor, but rather a Senior Vice-President of Hawaiian Electric Industries (HEI). HEI is the parent company of the local electric utility and a bank (actually, a savings and loan). What I've appreciated most about the class so far is that he is showing us what leadership is in the real world.

And if nothing else, the word is that everyone and every situation is different. Hence, it is very difficult to take the latest management book and apply it as you would a recipe for baking bread. The number of variables are just too many.

Hence, we get back to what are your guiding principles? What are your values? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Do you even know what any of these are, as they relate to you? That is, are you "tuned in" to your environment, both internal and external?

And to a great extent, it comes down to what is your view of the nature of man? What I mean is do you think people are essentially chattel to be herded from feed lot to feed lot? Or do you believe people are your business's greatest asset?

No, I am not saying we should all sit on the ground cross-legged and contemplate our navels. When you are in a business, you need to be focused on making a profit. But the path to that profit is as varied as there are people. And if this is true, then why not take the path of respect, justice, and stewardship? Even if these qualities may make your life more difficult in the short run, in the long run, you'll at least be able to sleep at night.

Customer Service

Part of the list below turned up on fellow Daynoter Mike Barkman's site (see it here). This got me to searching the 'net trying to find the author but this has been attributed to various people - from McDonald's Ray Kroc to Mahatma Ghandi (Ghandi? Yikes!). In either case, these are the 10 Commandments of Customer Service (note, there are different versions of the list so feel free to check out the others).

1. The Customer is the most important person in our business.

2. The Customer is not dependent on us - we are dependent on the customer.

3. The Customer is not an interruption of our work; but the purpose of it.

4. The Customer does us an honor when calling on us. We are not doing the customer a favor by serving him/her.

5. The Customer is part of our business, not an outsider. The Customer is our guest.

6. The Customer is not a cold statistic, but flesh and blood; a human with feelings and emotions like our own.

7. The Customer is not someone to argue with, or match wits with.

8. The Customer is one who brings us his/her wants. Our job is to fill them.

9. The Customer is deserving of the most courteous and attentive treatment we can provide.

10. The Customer has the right to expect an employee to present a neat, clean appearance.

Aloha!

It's Friday!

Everyday Heroes

From the Albany, New York Times Union (via fark.com) comes this article (see it here).

At 10 a.m., the Delmar woman, who is five months pregnant, parked her 1995 BMW in the lot in the 200 block of Central Avenue and spotted three youths eyeing her, police said. As she walked toward the sidewalk to cross Central Avenue, the suspects approached her. The girl allegedly grabbed her arm and asked for her keys, said Detective James Miller, a spokesman for the Department of Public Safety.

The victim screamed for help, told them she was pregnant and pleaded with them to not hurt her. The girl suspect then allegedly punched her in the face, causing her to fall. They grabbed the keys out of her hand and ran toward her car, police said.

Bad as the story may be, you are probably saying, "So what?" People are attacked everyday in just about every city. Well, here comes the rest of the story. It seems one of her co-workers observed the attack from her office across the street. The co-worker notified the police and also three of her office mates: Sean McKenna, Jesse Willis, and Eric Headwell.

The three ran to one of the their cars and began looking for the stolen BMW which by then was long gone. By sheer luck, or divine intervention, the BMW found them. That is, the three were waiting at a light when the BMW drove past them. They tried to discretely follow the BMW while calling the police on a cell phone but the driver of the BMW eventually spotted them and drove off at a fast pace. The three followed them until the driver drove into an apartment complex with no way to get out. The three were able to detain two of the three car jackers until police arrived.

Arrested were a 16-year-old female Albany High School student, and a 14-year-old male Hackett Middle School student. Each faces two counts of second-degree robbery and criminal possession of stolen property.

Waitangi

The MorningPaper had a picture of the New Zealand Prime Minister being jostled by some of our Mäori cousins to the south. Waitangi Day, celebrated in New Zealand on February 6th of each year, commemorates the signing of the treaty of the same name in 1840. The treaty is described, by the Pekeha (i.e., the white Europeans) as the founding document of the nation of New Zealand. As might be expected, the indigenous people have a slightly different view of the "rights" and "Peace and Good Order" bestowed upon them by the then queen Victoria when she annexed the islands. Being Kanaka Maoli (of the indigenous people of Hawai'i), I have great sympathy for them. Having said that, "jostling" people is not the way to win friends and influence enemies. If they have a grievance, they need to work it out in whichever way is appropriate to their culture, not use force or bully tactics.

Below is the first paragraph of the treaty:

Her Majesty Victoria Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland regarding with Her Royal Favour the Native Chiefs and Tribes of New Zealand and anxious to protect their just Rights and Property and to secure to them the enjoyment of Peace and Good Order has deemed it necessary in consequence of the great number of Her Majesty's Subjects who have already settled in New Zealand and the rapid extension of Emigration both from Europe and Australia which is still in progress to constitute and appoint a functionary properly authorized to treat with the Aborigines of New Zealand for the recognition of Her Majesty's Sovereign authority over the whole or any part of those islands.

The Kanaka Maoli have a joke about how the early missionaries told them to look up into the heavens. But when the Hawaiians looked back down, their land had been stolen from them and they were now homeless. I kind of get the feeling that, right or wrong, some of the Mäori feel the same way.

Have a Great Weekend Everyone - Haeri rä!